Quotes I like.

I had to empty my facebook profile of quotes because it's starting to fill up. I tend to just slap a new quote on as soon as I hear it... so the profile is full. very full.

"Bitch, PLEASE!" -Anna

"What up gangSTA!" -50 Cent

"Even the smallest person can change the course of the future." -JRR Tolkein

"What the fuck are you carrying a gun for? In case someone steps to you Snoop Dogg?!?!?" -the guy in Swingers

"And remember, don't get hammered either because people who get hammered don't get to nail!" - Mike Skinner of The Streets

"Join us from every land, from every tradition, from every point of view. Join us as we make peace: peace with each other, peace with the land, and peace with ourselves." -Yogi Bhajan

"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible make violent revolution inevitable." -JFK

"You don't need a weatherman to see which way the wind blows." -Bob Dylan

"Nothing can be beautiful which is not true."

"With knowledge comes responsiblity."

"Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them." -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"The expected is just the beginning. The unexpected is what changes our lives."

Map Out Your Life. Or So They Say.

Lists. Goals. Maps. Brainstorms. Plans. Applications. Bookmarks. Emails.

EGHhh. It's all too much. That is a list (yaaah, I like lists, as we know) of the eck-factor of growing up. What I mean is that we are expected to make plans, lay out our life, have goals. We are supposed to know where we will be in 6 months, one year, two years, TEN years. PFFFF. Apparently having plans and goals makes us a 'grown-up'. Or so I always thought. I have always thought that I have to plan, make lists of goals (see an earlier blog as proof), check boxes off, bookmark job opportunities off the web, send off a million emails, wait patiently for responses, and, generally, just follow some sort of path.

Well, I say: SCREW the path. I have always planned so well, had clear goals, known what I want, and yet, things always turn out a bit differently than expected. OH, wait, I have hit the keyword right there... EXPECTATIONS. Therein lies the real problem with my life. I can plan all I want, but things will NEVER turn out according to plan.

[Written on 4/27/07, saved as an unfinished draft.]

Soundtrack to My Life

If I had to make a soundtrack to my life (when I say "If I had to...", I mean that I HAVE done it) it would consist of the following songs:

1. Hoarding it for Home - Mates of State
2. Fidelity - Regina Spektor
3. No Cars Go - Arcade Fire
4. Secret Heart - Feist
5. Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
6. Heartbreaker - Pat Benatar (I'm torn... or Shadows of the Night)
7. God Put a Smile on Your Face - Coldplay
8. Next Exit - Interpol
9. The Way Young Lovers Do - Van Morrison
10. Real People - Common
11. Golden - Jill Scott
12. Part of the Process - Morcheeba
13. Ms. Fat Booty - Mos Def
14. Ease Your Feet in the Sea - Belle and Sebastian
15. Dance Like This - Wyclef Jean
16. True to Myself - Ziggy Marley
17. Who May Be Lazy - M. Ward
18. Times They Are A-Changin - Bob Dylan
19. Everyone Deserves Music - Spearhead
20. Suffused With Love - Sondre Lerche
21. Darts of Pleasure - Franz Ferdinand
22. Crown of Love - Arcade Fire
23. Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake
24. Such Great Heights - Iron & Wine
25. Float On - Modest Mouse
26. Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes - Paul Simon
27. Fire and Rain - James Taylor
28. Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys
29. More Justice - Damian Marley
30. Smile Like You Mean It - The Killers
31. Better Together - Jack Johnson
32. Give Peace a Chance - John Lennon
33. Da Booty - A Tribe Called Quest
34. Alphabet Song - Blackalicious
35. Onzieme Commandement - MC Solaar
36. My Humps - Black Eyed Peas
37. Get Up, Stand Up - Bob Marley & The Wailers
38. The Infanta - The Decemberists
39. It's Good to Be Here - Digable Planets
40. Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds - The Beatles
41. Flying Horses - Dispatch
42. A Woman's Worth - Alicia Keys
43. Can't Hold Us Down - Christina Aguilera
44. Maria, Maria - Santana
45. Little Things - India.Arie
46. You Make Me Feel Like Dancing - Leo Sawyer

Ok... so maybe it would be a three-volume disc set for $19.99.... but, hey, it makes a FAB playlist!

And I like lists alot.

Things I Miss in the Good Ol' U.S.

While I love to travel, move around, and generally not stay in the same place too long, this tends to mean I miss things frequently. I mean, yeah, I miss events (like my aunt's wedding... WHOOPS and Ziggy Marley playing SpringFest). But, somehow, these pale in comparison to the following list of THINGS that I miss. And I do not think that makes me weird. Rather, it makes me normal! Everyone misses items... comfort foods, smells, people, etc.

Things I miss (in no particularly order):
-Reese's Pieces (I have a King-Sized package stored in the cupboard for an emergeny and have somehow managed to steel myself from gobbling it up).
-REAL Salsa.
-My friends.
-Flip Flops as acceptable footwear.
-Foreign films with English subtitles.
-Grey's Anatomy.
-Micro-brews like Fat Tire and Magic Hat.
-Barbeques.
-Hamburgers. The biiiig, juicy, meaty, everything-on-it kind. YUM.
-American breakfasts. Who DOESN'T love eggs, pancakes, bacon, hashbrowns, oj, and coffee!?
-Proper Heinz ketchup.
-Being able to USE my Nalgene (meaning I miss potable tap water).
-My dog, Timmy.
-Wearing comfy clothes to class (like sweats, though this is a rare pleasure for me, even in the U.S.).
-My mom, dad, sisters and nephew.
-American Apparel.
-Lounging on the grass in parks/on campus.
-Good ol' Vermont homegrown... (er... maple syrup?)
-Real, passionate, hunger-strike kinds of student activism.
-NYLON Magazine that doesn't cost $10 (egh, exporting mags from the U.S., such a business).
-People knowing what Facebook is. Errr, not that I'm addicted or anything...

Well now. That's alot to miss. And I daresay I can live without most of it! OBVIOUSLY I am loving my life more than ever now, without all of that! But that doesn't mean it's not dear to me and in my dreams... especially Reese's... ooooh, the cupboard is so close...

Meet Wally.

I have a humidifier. He is blue and white. He looks like a penguin. I like penguins. I named him Wally.

Is it weird that I even OWN a MACHINE to make the air more moist?! Don't most girls hate humidity?

"With Knowledge Comes Responsibility"

I spent some time reflecting on last week's post and what student had said about teaching horrible things, such as genocide. She blatantly thought it is not a good idea. I, somehow, knew that I thought she was wrong, yet I was unable to explain why.

I came across this quote somewhere while reading a book... "With knowledge comes responsibility". That's it. It is so simple. THAT is why we must teach the horrors of what evil men are capable of. We must KNOW what the posibilities are. We must know what is happening. Then, we are OBLIGATED to respond.

The U.S. has used this as an excuse for not taking a stronger stance on many issues. How many times have we heard presidents say that they didn't know what was happening in Turkey during the Armenian genocide, in Nazi-controlled Europe during World War II, in Rwanda in 1994, in Bosnia, and now... We don't "know" what Kim Jong Il is doing to his people in North Korea... We don't "know" exactly what Omar Al-Bashir is doing to fund the genocide in Darfur. THUS, we are not responsible. We do not have to intervene. Our hands are blood free, and busy with other 'more important' things.

PFUH. That is the sound of disgust.

Unfortunately, we know all too well what horrible things are happening around the world, yet we are loathe to get involved.

And while I shudder at the photos I see on NYTimes.com or BBCnews.com, I thank God I have access to such information. I am glad I know what is happening in the world. I am glad that I KNOW and am forced ot be RESPONSIBLE. Thank God I have a mind, a will, energy, and a desire to help and create change.

Eerie and horrifying.

I cannot help but comment on yesterday's tragic shootings at VirginiaTech University. What horrors... I truly sympathize with the people of Blacksburg, VA, and my heart goes out to everyone involved.

My blog title says "eerie"... Let me explain that a bit. I came home last night, dead tired, after teaching English for 5 hours straight. In all of my classes we had talked about genocide and I was trying to impress upon them the need to teach genocide studies in high school. I was also explaining how important I think it is to go visit places like Auschwitz or Majdanek, especially since they exist right here on Polish soil! More than half of my students had never even been to any of the concentration camps. They tried to explain that they are so inundated with history that they feel overwhelmed and that they 'know' everything.

I completely could not understand that! Poles are 'fortunate' enough to have such a rich, varied, tumultuous history, with so much evidence of it still left on the landscape. I tried to explain that I think it is SO important to see and FEEL places like Auschwitz so as to prevent such an occurence from ever happening again. I think that knowledge/education is power and when people witness the horrible evils that man is capable of, they will be so horrified that they will not be able to idly sit by and allow such genocides to occur again.

Am I hopelessly optimistic?

One of my students really adamantly disagreed with me. She felt that it is important to focus on good things, on love and affection and kindness. She said that showing such violent images as photos from the Holocaust or Darfur does nothing but desensitize people more. She said she would rather show her daughters uncondititonal love and teach them good values than expose them to the horrors of genocides.

This is where it gets eerie, almost foreshadowing the events of yesterday... She started to talk about school shootings and how the wide publicity of them, with such violent and explicit images, lead to copycat cases. None of us had yet heard about the VirginiaTech shooting, even though we were six hours ahead. Then, it was so eerie to come home and read the tragic headlines on my homepage.

At first, I disagreed with my student... I mean, not entirely, it is obviously vital to show unconditional love for your children. I stated that I think that BOTH love and education about the evil humanity is capable of are necessary in order to create a more peaceful, harmonious world. But, maybe she has a point.

Are we so desensitized by tragic, horrifying, and violent images that they do not move us at all? Or, much worse, are people sickly 'inspired' by such things? There were supposed 'copycat' shootings after the Colombine massacre eight years ago. I can only pray and hope that this most recent massacre will bring no such thing. I can only hope that my thesis, that of exposing people to horror to educate them against committing such acts, holds true.

On a side note... GoogleEarth has teamed up with the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum to create an amazing image gallery/mapping of the genocide in Darfur. It is a wonderful use of the technology readily available to us.

Am I a hypocrite? PFFFFFFFFF.

I spent alot of time today getting excited about a few things...

First, I was glued to The Sartorialist blog (http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/) for a while oogling the lovely Spring-y fashion shots from around the world. That man has such an amazing eye for lovely, fresh, original details.

Secondly, I became enamored of little red worms!!! They can live in a little bin right in your kitchen and eat your food scraps and make great potting soil! AMAZING. (http://www.lesecologycenter.org/les_frames.html) I cannot wait to get back to the States and buy a pound of the little buggers.

So. Is that a contradiction? Am I a huge hypocrite because I love fashion and aesthetic beauty... but ALSO want to save the world and decrease my environmental footprint as much as possible?

I do not think so. I think it's perfectly normal. Why should we have to choose between being a tree-hugging hippy or a swank Chanel-wearing lady? We DON'T! That's the beauty of living in the twentieth century. The only thing we don't have a choice in is being personally responsible for the earth. We must make little choices to slow down (and eventually reverse) the horrid damage our race has inflicted upon the globe. I, myself, am guilty of not always making the right choices. But, I am resolute in my desire to stop being so damn lazy. So, I hereby declare to do my part to save the planet. In my quest I resolve to:
1. Stop using plastic bags when shopping... I now have a cute linen tote that folds up nice and small.
2. Buy fluorescent/CFL (I think?) bulbs.
3. Buy large chunks of cheese, local, unpackaged deli meats, and, generally, avoid packaged food.
4. Actually USE my Nalegene!
5. COMPOST à la red worms.
6. Buy more second-hand clothes. PLUS, then they're more original and personal.
7. Eat less meat, even though I really eat very little.
8. Try to buy local vegetables (in Poland there's not need to distinguish between organic and conventional since they don't practice massive, ravaging agriculture like in the U.S.... this is just to support local farmers who desperately need it).

That's a list of such SIMPLE things I can do (ANYONE can do them too!) to reduce my negative impact on the world. It just requires a wee bit more energy, a consciousness in my consumption habits, and some imagination. PUL-EEEESE try to make a similar list. I'll update it as I think of more ideas...

Sri Lanka, Florence, Auschwitz... Close but no cigar.

Well. I have had quite a time lately. I cannot believe that the past 8 days have just FLOWN past! Please, allow me to recap.

I intern as a research assistant for a television show... It is called Korespondent and is on Telewizja Polska 2 (a Polish, government-funded channel). Essentially, the show is a documentary program investigating conflict situtations throughout the world. I, somehow, ended up with this gig through a friend. For the past month I hadn't gotten to see much dramatic, chaotic, newroom action... 'til last Monday. I arrived at work at my normal time (around 11 am) to find no one in the office other than the head journalist, who is RARELY there. One of the producers was in the U.S. doing work for her master's thesis and the other tore her ACL and was in the hospital for three days. So, he was in a slight panic and proceeded to explain to me that it was crunch time because the planned trip to Pakistan to investigate the Belochistan nation was cancelled and they HAD to get a trip together for April 28th. The three options were Sierra Leone (diamond conflict), Nigeria (easy contact there, always a story), or Sri Lanka. I told him that it's time he venture a bit out of his 'comfort' zone (aka extensive travel in Africa and the Middle East... such COMFORTABLE places) and I would do some seriosu investigation into Sri Lanka and the Tamil Tigers.

Well. I don't want to give away my trade secrets... but let's just say that I found us a fixer (someone on the ground to translate and do logistics planning) and got our visa information rolling (COMPLEX since they are travelling as journalists). OKOKOK. Stop baying "How? How?" and poking and prodding! hahahaha. I, literally, just used google to find news articles about the Tamil, found names of reporters, emailed them or googled them and called everywhere I could think of. That meant to the BBC press office in London, who redirected me to the press office in Delhi, who then gave me a CELL NUMBER to the BBC coordinator in Colombo who is oh-so-nice and helpful! I also emailed the senior analyst at the International Crisis Group to see if he could suggest any potential fixers, got an immediate, positive response, and I took off running! Not only that, but I googled the name of the Norwegian Minister of International Development that is brokering the peace deal between the Sri Lankans and the Tamil and somehow got the CELL NUMBER for his press contact. I called some random number, got an answering machine in Norwegian, and hung up. Two minutes later, the phone rang and it was this man, on vacation and returning my call! He was so helpful and gave me names and numbers as well and offered an interview with the Norwegian Minister. HONESTLY. I was on Cloud Nine after two days of this craziness. I cannot even begin to explain the adrenaline rush that comes with not knowing how to even approach such a project, randomly plugging words into google, and actually getting helpful, eager responses! If only the people I spoke with knew I was a 20-year-old undergrad... or, scratch that, THANK GOD they didn't know! I would have gotten NOWHERE.

So. That happened.... is still happening...

Thursday, my great high school friend was supposed to arrive in Warsaw from Bologna. She is studying in Florence for the semester. Rather, I should say that she is using a unversity exchange program as an excuse to travel and see as much of Europe as humanely possible and still pass classes. Ok, back on track... I sign onto the internet to recieve a frantic email saying that she missed her plane. An not because she was a minute late to check in (cheap-o airlines are not so lenient about that) but because she simply didn't wake up. WTF. But. It happened and she was still determined to come visit me in Poland. We had plans to go to Krakow, Auschwitz, spend Easter with my family, then to meet her Polish relatives for the first time. So, she bought a spendy last minute ticket and we met in Krakow on Friday. Lovely city, lovely time... I just LOVE Krakow.

Then, on Saturday, we decided to spend the whole day at Auschwitz. But, that is a topic for another blog. I was mostly just so excited about my work. I WAS ACTUALLY A MOVER-AND-SHAKER! Ha. Amazing. The power of the internet, telephone, and a resourceful brain. Incredible.

To clarify... Noooo, not your skin!

Looking back on my first post, I realize that I wrote that I am "trying to figure out how to point my life in the direction I want it to go". Pheew... that's a bit of a random statement, especially since I didn't exactly clarify what that means. So, if I may...

In the spring of 2006 I got involved in a group called STAND: A student anti-genocide coalition (against, more specifically, the genocide in Darfur) and became president of said group in the fall. Not only were my eyes suddenly awakened to the horrors of genocide and poverty in general, but the larger issues of development and security in Africa were overwhelming. I spent many a moment despairing that I was simply not doing enough... though I was endlessly busy juggling the group, school, my job, my TAship, and other things. I thought long and hard about becoming a doctor and committing myself to working with organizations such as Doctors Without Borders (our chosen NGO that we fundraise for) but decided that that, while being a necessary, noble, and effective organization, is only a bandaid solution to much larger issues.

Several months earlier I had participated in a training in mediation. This was mainly a workshop in family and personal relationship mediation, yet the concepts are easily applicable on a much larger scale and in a different context, especially with more training. Thus, I have decided that the "direction" I want my life to go is International Conflict Mediation. I want to sit powerful African warlords at a table next to UN negotiators and dictatorial presidents and mediate their claims and needs to reach a peaceful settlement... But how am I supposed to get there?

I spoke to a professor and advisor and he suggested law school with a concentration in international law... and that is one possibility. Another is graduate school in peace and conflict studies, human rights studies, international affairs... etc.

I feel as though I am at the edge of an olympic swimming pool and I cannot decide which lane to jump into!

So, I continue to poke along... writing, researching, getting thoroughly involved in my thesis on Human Rights in Europe... and frivolously taking time for myself! I think that the right 'lane' will show itself eventually... maybe I'll poke a toe in and see which one has the warmest water?

The Hipsters Came Out in Droves

I remember this book that my friend Anna was given in high school, The Hipster Handbook... we thought it was so funny at the time and, on lazy summer afternoons spent tanning on the grass, we pored over the pages of this book. We committed words like "peace out" ("bye) to memory and vowed to get hairstyles with heavy bangs.

Yet, I still don't know what a real 'hipster' is nor do I even come close to considering myself one! But, somehow, I always find myself surrounded by them! For example, last night I was swimming in a sea of the coolest Polish hipsters, dodging their crazy dance moves and waving their cigarette smoke out of my face. I joined some friends at this funny place located in Warsaw's most famous landmark, the Palace of Culture and Science. It is called (oh-so-appropriately) Kafé Kulturalna... normally a lounge-y joint where we go on a Tuesday for a beer and chats. But, once in a while, they get the bright idea to clear out the tables, set up a second bar, get some wacky djs, and actually CHARGE ten zlotys to get in! Last night was one of those special nights.

Not only was the dancing out-of-control, groove-to-your-own-beat flailing, but the clothes were impressive. I honestly felt as though I had landed smack in the middle of a "Be Your Hipsterest" party! There were leggings with leopard print MC Hammer pants layered over them, asymmetrical haircuts, bra-less loose tops, waistbelts, mini bananas (French-slang for fanny packs), and random plastic junk posing as jewelry. I sometimes wonder where on earth these 'clothes' come from... then I remind myself that to be 'hip' is to constantly push the 'cool' envelope - and to commit endless hours to rifling through piles and piles of used clothes. Yet, that's great! I wish I had endless hours to spend clothes shopping... or not.

But I have to say, I am glad that the clothes are at least being reused... fashion is so disposable and wrecks havoc on the environment. Cotton is the world's most poisonous crop, requiring loads of pesticides to keep off the critters... but this is a topic for another post...

Hm. Where was I going with this? Nowhere really other than to say... wow! Those hipsters came out in DROVES last night!

The day the blog started.

Today I am starting a blog. Why? Honestly, I haven't the foggiest... I don't expect anyone to read this as most young women muse over various issues, so I don't feel the need to explain myself.

A few things about me to settle any contextual questions:
I write for a little paper in the U.S. as a fashion correspondent.
I am alot more than a fashion-whore.
I currently live in Warsaw, Poland.
I am trying to figure out how to point my life in the direction I want it to go.
I love music.

Right now I have to go to the store and pick up a can of paint and some brushes. It's time to bring a bit of color to the white walls of my apartment!